Employment Industry News
Good Negotiation Means Good Listening
February 2009
It’s as simple as this: If you want to get ahead, learn to be a good negotiator. And if you would be a good negotiator, learn to be a good listener.
Negotiating, whether with the management team over a budget increase or with an employee over adopting a process change or with your own manager for increased responsibility, is a key skill for anyone working in HR. While many avoid negotiations because they feel they lack appropriate skills, some simple techniques can boost anyone’s negotiation success. Effective strategy and good communication skills can make the difference between a win-win and a loselose situation in any negotiation.
Building Relationships
In any negotiation, the underlying goal is to build a long-term relationship, which means getting to know and understand each other. As author and management guru Stephen Covey so wisely put it: “Seek first to understand.” Listening is a critical skill in understanding — especially during the negotiation process.
Take the time to explore the needs of the other party. It can provide insights into what really matters to them and can help you frame your offer to effectively meet their needs.
Generate options instead of attempting to fit the other person’s issues into your preconceived solutions.
Strong NETS
Legal expert Andrew M. Apfelberg and senior business consultant Mark Jaffe have designed a process they claim will lead not only to win-win results, but that will build rapport between the negotiating parties. It’s called NETS:
- NEEDS VS. WANTS Focus on what both parties need, rather than what they want.
- EXPECTATIONS Establish expectations that are realistic and flexible.
- TRUST AND RECIPROCITY Give as well as receive in order to create an atmosphere of trust.
- STRAIGHT TALK Focus on establishing authenticity rather than game-playing.
By fully exploring the needs, goals and barriers of both sides in a negotiation, you can come up with alternatives that meet needs of both sides. Doing this effectively does require trust, which is not always present in every negotiation, especially in difficult employee situations. So it’s important to build and maintain that trust, which demands candor, honesty and dependability.
Practice Makes Perfect
Fear of negotiation is like fear of public speaking, says Dan Weedin, a Seattle executive speech coach. And like fear of public speaking, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more we fear negotiation, the more we try to avoid negotiation and the less opportunity we get to practice, so we become more uncomfortable with any kind of negotiation.
Honing negotiation skills requires practice. “The opportunity to perform and deliver in front of a group is the best way to prepare for negotiation,” says Weedin. Confidence can be improved by developing skills such as active listening, empathy and the use of probing questions. With constant repetition of these techniques at every opportunity comes increased confidence.
Use everyday situations to practice your negotiation skills. Each day we encounter numerous situations that require negotiation skills, whether deciding where to have lunch or negotiating an allowance with a child. Practice your negotiation skills in relatively risk-free settings like these, and you’ll find your confidence building day by day.